After a passionate kiss you stare deep into one another’s eyes, your pulse is racing, chemicals flowing and you want nothing more than each other. You want to softly whisper “I Love You” and say it again and again because you can’t describe it any other way but wait!! You’ve only known each other a month! Wake up girl, you’re probably just really horny.
So now you’re just staring into each others eyes wanting to say it, not saying it at all because it’s terrifying to admit at first and then getting even more awkward because you both know what the other is thinking but you won’t say it BECAUSE IT’S TOO EARLY FOR THAT!!!
ABORT! ABORT! Go and make tea or turn it into sex, that’s the only way to stop yourself from saying something very silly.
I have come across many people who have said that the words I Love You mean nothing to them because they have used it so much. I think that’s really sad and leads me to believe that you’ve never really experienced it in it’s full splendour; maybe you use the words to describe your tolerance of a person you find very attractive because you don’t want to be alone. I find that very depressing and maybe you need to take a look at your own self worth before you think about loving someone else.
I can safely say that at my current, tender age of….early twenties I have been in Love by my definition twice, however through the stages of growing up and developing my current opinion the hard way I’m pretty sure that I have told at least 8 people that I loved them at any one point.
Bad Franky!
I vowed to myself a long time ago to cut the trashy time wasting relationships and to be stone cold with my feelings until I found someone who could set my soul on fire. That approach brought a lot of trust into my own judgement, sometimes it was difficult to tell the difference between an Aquamarine Gemstone and The Heart of Eternity but we only learn through our mistakes.
So when is it ok to tell your significant other for the first time that you love them? Six months, a year? Well, many people wait a few days, others wait a few years however my chaotic experience thus far has enabled me to amalgamate my own little checklist before the words leave my lips.
Love is independence, love is respect, love is equal.
- When the faults are acknowledged and you truly ask yourselves if you can handle them. The answer should be and honest yes with your love laced blindfolds torn away.
- One of your best friends; you can tell each other everything and there will be no judgements. You can communicate without words, laugh, cry and scream with each other.
- Respect the differences, aspirations and needs. Encouraging success.
- Become a team; you would do anything for each other, you can grow together and build your own little two person empire.
- Being able to bow out with grace; nothing lasts forever and there’s a very fine line between being ‘in love’ with someone and ‘loving’ someone. You’ve just had this extraordinary love affair, show each other the respect and dignity you deserve by being honest about your feelings. After the initial pain you’ve probably got a genuine friend for life.
With these points in mind I don’t think you can put a time frame on your emotions. I think that if you know yourself well enough you will know when it’s real. It’s a terrifying thing to say I Love You, especially for the first time and if the other person doesn’t feel the same then it really, really hurts but the worst thing you can do is lie about it, it’ll just hurt more.
Who cares if you say it after a week? Who cares if it takes a year for those words to leave your lips? What matters is that you’re honest with yourself and your special chunk of human, be bold with your emotions…they’re not permanent!
Love fiercely with all of your heart, it really is worth every splinter of pain.
